Coming of Age Final

Independence

Growing up I never had a dream college, dream job, or knew what I wanted to do after grade school.  I just figured that time and others would tell me sooner or later what my plans were for the future.  I was the middle child, which meant that whatever my older brother dealt with I was next.  It was sort of like a chain reaction, from my older brother to me, than to my younger brother. I remember many times my brother would come home with a lot of homework and would end up staying up till 12 am doing it all. I recall seeing his drained face and dull emotions as he was about to start his table full of work. I would tell myself that I'm not going to do that when I get to his age, I am going to use time throughout the day to do my homework and not be irresponsible and cram it all in on one night. These experiences gave me a peak at what being a middle child was about.

Soon, before I knew it I was a high schooler.  I was now a sophomore and my brother being two years older than me was a senior.  With the same mind set in place as in freshmen year and middle and elementary school, I thought that even though I was a sophomore in high school that I had plenty time to still decide about my future.  But with my brother being a senior, my mom was all over him, because he hadn’t sent any college applications or even thought about his future.  I always heard my mom telling my older brother “stop playing games and watching movies, you still need to make a list of colleges that you want to apply to,” and my brother would always reply “I will I will, don’t worry I still have time.”  As weeks went by my brother had still not sent out any applications, and my mom continued to remind him.  Gradually I began hearing my mom reminding him more often than not.  At first I just tuned out because my mom hadn’t been talking directly to me.  But, after constantly hearing the same thing over and over again I couldn’t help but listen in every so often, and slowly I picked up on what my mom was saying.

She wanted my brother to be responsible for his own future, and not be so dependent on our parents and time to dictate what he would do later in life. . . she wanted him to be independent. Something that I picked up on, before it hit me head on. Although it wasn't a few words that instantly made me understand that I need to be independent, it was the constant repeating of my mom saying "you aren't always going to have us to make your discussions for you." Since I was the middle child I had the same theory like my older brother "I have time, don't worry." But, after witnessing my brother facing the consequences of not being responsible for himself, it was a glimpse of the future for me. That if I didn't start preparing now and become independent that I would just repeat history. Something that I didn't want to do because the stress that came with my brother not being prepared was something that I don't want to be apart of. I also didn't want to see my mom getting irritated at me for not being responsible, even when I had warnings along the way.

Now I know what to expect in the fast approaching future and have already began thinking about college and what I really am interested in.  Something I may have never thought about till senior year. I've narrowed my choice to the west coast schools, preferably California or Oregon and am considering a job in science. Now I no longer wait for other people to do things for me, instead now I actually do things independently and right on time, because I know that even though the future seems like miles away it's really already here. In life you aren’t always going to be surrounded by others who you can get help off of, even though it would be nice too.  You need to be able to make decisions independently, because in the end it’s your life that is impacted good or bad.